The most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO! There, capitalized, italicized, and in bold face, I said it. and I’ll say it again, Don’t do it! Don’t speed in Bainbridge Ohio! If, if, if, you speed in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t crash! If you speed and crash in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t say I didn’t tell you so!
Now, on to the blog…
So I’m just scanning through the local paper, the Plain Dealer to be exact, and and I happen across one of those morbid headlines that catches the eye of one so obviously destined for hell as myself. The boldface print reads: Dog finds crash-victim’s foot
My attention irretrievably drawn, I read the short and learn the following facts: 1. an accident happened. 2. the accident was caused by excessive speed. 3. a foot was separated from it’s owner in that accident. 4. emergency personnel searched the area for the foot but were unable to find it. 5. at some much later point (reportedly 14 hours after the accident), a dog found the foot. 6. the dog was (reportedly) NOT searching for the foot when it found it but was out for a walk! 7. The foot was taken to the hospital where the victim was recovering but obviously could not be reattached (after 14 hours out of the fridge most meat isn’t even fresh enough to eat).
Having learned not to trust the press, I’ve only reprinted what we can be reasonably certain of. Even so, we are making certain presumptions. So in fairness to the police, I apologize beforehand if my presumptions are incorrect but really, who could pass this up?
The first presumption I’m going to make is that the police didn’t call out a dog to search the area for the foot themselves. If they didn’t, shame on them! they certainly would have called for a dog to search for drug evidence or to find a gun that was tossed or to track a suspect who might have ran from the car. So, why not a foot that Mr. Richard Williams of Burton Township will miss for the rest of his life?
The second presumption is, that they cleared the crime scene before the foot was found and didn’t still have a policeman or two poking about in the weeds for a missing body part. Dude! How do you call that in? “Supervisor Car 11 to dispatch… Yeah uh… One partial victim life flighted to metro, unable to locate left foot… How do we look for breakfast over?”
What did they hope for? that the guy would die and the coroner’s office wouldn’t take an inventory? …or that he’d be so glad to live that he wouldn’t notice that his left foot was torn off at the shin? Come on guys, some times you have to go that extra mile! I once walked two miles of railroad track marking parts for collection and that was for a guy who would certainly never need them again!
Or maybe they just said screw it, we just won’t write him a ticket for speeding we can all call it even…
So one last time for those of you who weren’t paying attention… The most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO!
