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Michael Dodge
gaycop@mac.com
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December 21, 2009 — Michael CheekyA Touching Mother’s Day Poem
May 9, 2009 — Michael CheekyThis is a poem I’ve written for my own mother but you are welcome to give it to yours. (if it applies)
Good morning Mom,
Today is your day.
God knows you’ve earned it
Way after way!
So put up your feet
And take off your apron
and try to remember all these
Great “Mom” moments:
Like that time you got real drunk
And peed in the street
But first you called out all the neighbors
Man that was neat!
Or like that St. Patty’s Day party
Up at the bar,
Dad sent me to get you
But then you crashed the car.
It doesn’t still hurt though
I look on the bright side
and what ever I look at
I do with my good eye.
Remember that day you tried to kill us?
Boy Daddy got mad.
I don’t really blame you,
We were really quite bad
But burning the house down
Might have been much,
What with us all sleeping
And Daddy home and such.
Don’t worry that you quit AA
I still love you lots
Oh how is the shelter?
Do you like the new cots?
So enough of remembering
And all that for today
Please just don’t die
Before next Mother’s Day!
Love Your Son Mike
Chris
February 15, 2009 — Michael Cheeky
Chris
I posted my status on FaceBook as “Michael is looking for a topic to blog about … any suggestions?” My best friend Chris was the first with a response. He posted on my “wall” that I should blog about him. I’m certain Chris didn’t know what he was getting himself into. I happen to know that, for some people, taking praise is harder than accepting criticism. Like myself, Chris is one of those persons. Unlike myself however, Chris is deserving of much praise.
You see, Chris is my best friend. For the privilege (tongue in cheek) of carrying such title, he has to take a lot of grief. For one thing, he is straight but people often presume that he is gay because I am and we are close. Sometimes people ask him if he is and that makes for awkward moments that he wouldn’t otherwise have to deal with, I’m certain.
Chris also does a lot for me. I’m sort of disabled and Chris is younger and much more able bodied and has way more energy than I do. When I was in the hospital for my surgery in 2006, Chris did almost everything for me! He cut my grass, shoveled my walk and drove me around. He replaced my PVC plumbing with copper pipe for Pete’s sake! He still cuts my grass from time to time and trims my hedges as I find that nearly impossible given my current health.
He listens when I’m down and uses me when he’s down which makes me feel needed. We never seem to both down at the same time – which is a good thing. He is wise beyond his years when it comes to offering sage advice and is an unaccountable fool when it comes to taking his own advice.
We talk everyday and a day without Chris is truly a day without sunshine for me!
I forgive you
February 6, 2009 — Michael CheekyIn a gathering of thirty or so people who meet for a common purpose, I was approached by a man who asked me if I was a police officer. I was not surprised at this because it is well known in my circle that I am a police lieutenant in a city of four hundred thousand-plus people. The man appeared to be somewhat unbalanced but not unkind. He spoke slowly and with a slight speech impediment as if he were ‘slow’ or heavily medicated. Expecting to get the usual request to run a license plate or fix a ticket or offer legal advice, I hesitantly stated that I was.
The man looked suddenly troubled and asked if he could have a private moment with me. I obliged and what happened next was profound for me and, I hope, for him. The fellow introduced himself as Miguel and this is what he said:
“I used to use cocaine and other drugs and they messed up my mind. I became paranoid and I was always afraid. One day, I did a very bad thing. I was driving on (location not divulged to protect Miguel) and a state trooper told me to pull over. I was afraid and I didn’t pull over. Read the rest of this entry »
My name is Queerleo
October 7, 2008 — Michael Cheeky
- Group shot of some of the Knights helping Braelyan, who took this shot, (thank you so much!!!)
Just what is the attraction to the World of Warcraft? Why are not only kids but now even adults by the tens of thousands spurning their traditional daily diversions and diving into hours of obsessive computerized role-play, compliments of Blizzard Entertainment?
I pondered this question perhaps one to many times. Indeed, I fell headlong into a world where a gnome mage is special among the races because he can teleport others around this imaginary magical world and even more special if he learns to “spec-out” his talent points just right to become a true “frosty”. I became a frosty by level 50 and added some arcane talent for good measure. A person not into killing can be well honored for becoming a priest or shaman with awesome healing abilities. If you just want to pound on things and watch them bleed, they have you covered there as well in so many ways!
Chat is a huge part of the game and when you join a guild and rise through its ranks to become an officer, you get a sense of purpose and responsibility that makes the game very real. In fact, certain aspects of the World of Warcraft are very real life indeed.
Our guild master a 17 year old high school senior works together with a thirty something professional mom, 50ish professional wife, and an awesome computer helpdesk guru to help along and mentor the “younger” set in our particular guild. Myself as a 41 year old police lieutenant and a thirteen year old boy named Driud are also officers in the guild.
Within guild chat is an amazing social environment where everyone learns and teaches and love and tolerance is the code. Crude language is more quickly shouted down in guild chat by the younger (age) members than by us old folks.
Some families in the Knights of Cydonia have two generations in the guild and I’m working on making it three with an invitation to my dad who is an old school computer RPG’er. Many of us have made friends through MySpace as well. This certainly rounds out the real world theme and enriches our lives overall.
So there’s the attraction. I’ll be back “in world” after I post this. Look for me in the Bloodhoof realm. My name is Queerleo.
Building and rebuilding in nature’s destructive path
September 2, 2008 — Michael CheekyWhen I was a little boy, I built a sand castle on the beach in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina. As I was admiring my work, and much to my horror, wave after wave of Atlantic salt water began creeping up the beach and turned my tiny creation into little more than a smoothed over bump of shiny wet sand.
As young as I was, I was smart enough to know that my next sand castle would be built farther up the beach. Sure I had been attached to that first little castle… Sure I had fond memories of building it and playing in it… Sentimentality would warrant that I should want it in the same location… But I knew, even at that young age, that the waves would eventually come again to claim the product of my labor. Allow me to emphasize the fact that I was a child and that this is a true story!
Can you think of anyone who could learn a lesson from this?
Isn’t that ironic…
August 9, 2008 — Michael CheekyOn the same day that Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was released from jail where he had been held for violation terms of his bond… On the same day that Mayor Kilpatrick was arraigned on two charges of assaulting police… The Detroit Tigers were playing ball as if nothing had happened at all. The mayor’s personal suite? …occupied by none other than about a dozen police supervisors from all over the country. How do I know this? I was one of those cops!
We were visiting Detroit as part of an assessment center to help in the promotion process of the city’s newest police lieutenants! Good Luck Candidates!
On the downside, the Tigers lost to the Oakland A’s 4-2. But it was an exciting game played in beautiful weather!
Whatever you may wish to say against the mayor, no one can say the man holds a grudge!
Your Blogger at Tiger Stadium
New Remedy for Lead ‘Foot’ in Bainbridge Township, OH
April 29, 2008 — Michael CheekyThe most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO! There, capitalized, italicized, and in bold face, I said it. and I’ll say it again, Don’t do it! Don’t speed in Bainbridge Ohio! If, if, if, you speed in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t crash! If you speed and crash in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t say I didn’t tell you so!
Now, on to the blog…
So I’m just scanning through the local paper, the Plain Dealer to be exact, and and I happen across one of those morbid headlines that catches the eye of one so obviously destined for hell as myself. The boldface print reads: Dog finds crash-victim’s foot
My attention irretrievably drawn, I read the short and learn the following facts: 1. an accident happened. 2. the accident was caused by excessive speed. 3. a foot was separated from it’s owner in that accident. 4. emergency personnel searched the area for the foot but were unable to find it. 5. at some much later point (reportedly 14 hours after the accident), a dog found the foot. 6. the dog was (reportedly) NOT searching for the foot when it found it but was out for a walk! 7. The foot was taken to the hospital where the victim was recovering but obviously could not be reattached (after 14 hours out of the fridge most meat isn’t even fresh enough to eat).
Having learned not to trust the press, I’ve only reprinted what we can be reasonably certain of. Even so, we are making certain presumptions. So in fairness to the police, I apologize beforehand if my presumptions are incorrect but really, who could pass this up?
The first presumption I’m going to make is that the police didn’t call out a dog to search the area for the foot themselves. If they didn’t, shame on them! they certainly would have called for a dog to search for drug evidence or to find a gun that was tossed or to track a suspect who might have ran from the car. So, why not a foot that Mr. Richard Williams of Burton Township will miss for the rest of his life?
The second presumption is, that they cleared the crime scene before the foot was found and didn’t still have a policeman or two poking about in the weeds for a missing body part. Dude! How do you call that in? “Supervisor Car 11 to dispatch… Yeah uh… One partial victim life flighted to metro, unable to locate left foot… How do we look for breakfast over?”
What did they hope for? that the guy would die and the coroner’s office wouldn’t take an inventory? …or that he’d be so glad to live that he wouldn’t notice that his left foot was torn off at the shin? Come on guys, some times you have to go that extra mile! I once walked two miles of railroad track marking parts for collection and that was for a guy who would certainly never need them again!
Or maybe they just said screw it, we just won’t write him a ticket for speeding we can all call it even…
So one last time for those of you who weren’t paying attention… The most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO!
Oh to Live in a Free Country…
April 11, 2008 — Michael Cheeky
Would it be racist to compare these boys to monkeys?
Linda Ramirez Sliwinski, I feel your pain. You saw kids acting like monkeys and said that they should not be doing that. Those kids were black and you weren’t. For that, you were held up to public ridicule and persecution. (For background on this see the Chicago Tribune story here .) In these so called free United States of America, we micro-analyze every uttered word of every public servant; from the lowest ranking police officer to the president. Additionally, we have an ever-changing list of others who must be kept in their place lest they gain too much influence and challenge the status quo.
Examples of groups who’ve done time on the list are, in no specific order:
• Latin American immigrants
• Gays
• Non Jews
• Jews
• Non-Christians
• Blacks
• Non-Blacks
• Free thinkers
• Non-conformists of any kind
Do we round these people up and throw them in jail? No, well sometimes, but mostly, we just take turns beating up one another. We pass amendments to our state constitutions to oppress the gays. We use the media to circumvent the due process of law and destroy the lives of people we perceive to have offended us, whether or not they are truly guilty of having committed a crime. We use the almighty bible to beat the crap out of anyone who dares offend us by baring too much skin, or any other uncomfortable truth.
That said, let’s go back to Ms. Ramirez Sliwinski and the monkey kids. Who is the real racist in this picture? My contention is that the person who is looking for racism so hard that they see it around every corner is a racist. They simply cannot accept that society has moved on and left them behind. They are easy to spot.
If they are black, they are the ones who say that white people who use the words reserved for black peoples’ use are racist. Those words include: nigga, brother, whoop, word, shizzle, nizzle, cream, and above all, monkey. If they are white, they are the ones who annoyingly point out every instance of black folks’ using the above words and bemoan the fact that whites can’t use them.
So the Obama campaign asked her to resign as a delegate. What does such a knee-jerk reaction say about Barack Obama’ potential as a future leader of our country? Will he ask me to surrender my position with the police department if I call a black 17 year old a “boy”? Yes, I checked, and many blacks do consider this to be racist behavior. Did you get the memo?
The real racist was the ass who called the police and complained that their neighbor called their kids monkeys. In fact she only compared the kids to monkeys “…climbing in there like monkeys”. Then the cop who was retarded (political incorrectness and cultural insensitivity on the use of the word retarded duly noted and discarded by blogger) enough to include the fact that she called the kids monkeys in the citation, as if he/she had never had a class on constitutional law in the police academy.
In closing: Parents, control your brats and the neighbors won’t have to compare them to monkeys, no matter what race they, you, or the neighbor happens to be.
Sean Levert Buh Bye
April 1, 2008 — Michael CheekySean Levert is Dead. What?! OMG! Wake his ass up and let me kill him again! Deadbeat dad by two mothers?! Sorry dude, I ain’t feeling no love for your sorry dead ass and I’m just praying (as if i sullied myself with such pastimes) that you will be forgiven by whatever god you pray to so you don’t dirty up hell where I plan to be camped out for a cozy eternity.
If I seem a bit more excited about the titan crooner’s death than your average near-middle-aged gay white guy over a black singer’s death; maybe it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been treated like a criminal since my decision to divorce my ex-wife and non-paying, baby-making, turds like him made that dream possible for me. I don’t routinely pay my bills late. I’ve never hit my ex wife (or my wife before she won the esteemed title of ex for that matter). I’ve held the same job for nearly 18 years. can I be trusted to write a check once a month to a woman; especially when my promise is reinforced by a court order? No, apparently not. Why you ask? Well, because even rich and famous Sean Levert owed nearly $90,000 when he died in jail for child support so who am I to be trusted to pay with my little 70K per year job?
Why do I have to pay a 2% fee for the pleasure of having thousands of dollars forcibly extracted from my paycheck without any due process of law, even though I have not been convicted of having committed a crime? Oh, answers the (imaginary) judge, we have to pay for the recovery efforts of those who don’t pay… Those like FAT, RICH, FAMOUS, POT SMOKING, NON-SUPPORT PAYING, THROWING FITS AND DYING IN JAIL ASSED SEAN F’ING LeVERT! Well Sean Levert… If I’m being honest with you… when all recover from the hernias from carrying your fat ass to the cemetery, no one will remember anything about you accept that your father was famous and that you died in jail. You’ve been voted off the island. You are the biggest loser. You are the weakest link. You were voted off the show.
I’ll stop paying the child support enforcement agency in 2014. Then I’ll show my son that I could be trusted all along to support him as he’ll still depend on me to see him through his college years. Hopefully, I’ll still have that, the chance, just the chance, to show my son I care enough about him to support him without being forced; like a common criminal, by a government agency to do so.
Farewell Sean Levert, may deadbeat dad’s everywhere follow your example and save us the trouble of feeding them.
Author’s note: just in case any judge in real life would ever read this in real life and have balls enough to be offended and again have balls enough to want to do something about it and again have balls enough to act upon that wish, no judge said any of that. There duly disclaimed bitch! Damn I hate judges do nothing judges. They’re why this shit is so out of control now! When a policeman brings and a jury convicts… SENTENCE GOD DAMN IT!!! Author’s note on the Author’s note: The above note doesn’t apply to the judge who finally sentenced Levert, I Love You!
