BibleSexy.com Going to Hell with Gasoline Drawers!

The most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO! There, capitalized, italicized, and in bold face, I said it. and I’ll say it again, Don’t do it! Don’t speed in Bainbridge Ohio! If, if, if, you speed in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t crash! If you speed and crash in Bainbridge, Ohio, Don’t say I didn’t tell you so!

Now, on to the blog…

So I’m just scanning through the local paper, the Plain Dealer to be exact, and and I happen across one of those morbid headlines that catches the eye of one so obviously destined for hell as myself. The boldface print reads: Dog finds crash-victim’s foot

My attention irretrievably drawn, I read the short and learn the following facts: 1. an accident happened. 2. the accident was caused by excessive speed. 3. a foot was separated from it’s owner in that accident. 4. emergency personnel searched the area for the foot but were unable to find it. 5. at some much later point (reportedly 14 hours after the accident), a dog found the foot. 6. the dog was (reportedly) NOT searching for the foot when it found it but was out for a walk! 7. The foot was taken to the hospital where the victim was recovering but obviously could not be reattached (after 14 hours out of the fridge most meat isn’t even fresh enough to eat).

Having learned not to trust the press, I’ve only reprinted what we can be reasonably certain of. Even so, we are making certain presumptions. So in fairness to the police, I apologize beforehand if my presumptions are incorrect but really, who could pass this up?

The first presumption I’m going to make is that the police didn’t call out a dog to search the area for the foot themselves. If they didn’t, shame on them! they certainly would have called for a dog to search for drug evidence or to find a gun that was tossed or to track a suspect who might have ran from the car. So, why not a foot that Mr. Richard Williams of Burton Township will miss for the rest of his life?

The second presumption is, that they cleared the crime scene before the foot was found and didn’t still have a policeman or two poking about in the weeds for a missing body part. Dude! How do you call that in? “Supervisor Car 11 to dispatch… Yeah uh… One partial victim life flighted to metro, unable to locate left foot… How do we look for breakfast over?”

What did they hope for? that the guy would die and the coroner’s office wouldn’t take an inventory? …or that he’d be so glad to live that he wouldn’t notice that his left foot was torn off at the shin? Come on guys, some times you have to go that extra mile! I once walked two miles of railroad track marking parts for collection and that was for a guy who would certainly never need them again!

Or maybe they just said screw it, we just won’t write him a ticket for speeding we can all call it even…

So one last time for those of you who weren’t paying attention… The most important thing you will read in this blog is this: DON’T SPEED IN BAINBRIDGE OHIO!

Would it be racist to compare these boys to monkeys?

Linda Ramirez Sliwinski, I feel your pain. You saw kids acting like monkeys and said that they should not be doing that. Those kids were black and you weren’t. For that, you were held up to public ridicule and persecution. (For background on this see the Chicago Tribune story here .) In these so called free United States of America, we micro-analyze every uttered word of every public servant; from the lowest ranking police officer to the president. Additionally, we have an ever-changing list of others who must be kept in their place lest they gain too much influence and challenge the status quo.

Examples of groups who’ve done time on the list are, in no specific order:
• Latin American immigrants
• Gays
• Non Jews
• Jews
• Non-Christians
• Blacks
• Non-Blacks
• Free thinkers
• Non-conformists of any kind

Do we round these people up and throw them in jail? No, well sometimes, but mostly, we just take turns beating up one another. We pass amendments to our state constitutions to oppress the gays. We use the media to circumvent the due process of law and destroy the lives of people we perceive to have offended us, whether or not they are truly guilty of having committed a crime. We use the almighty bible to beat the crap out of anyone who dares offend us by baring too much skin, or any other uncomfortable truth.

That said, let’s go back to Ms. Ramirez Sliwinski and the monkey kids. Who is the real racist in this picture? My contention is that the person who is looking for racism so hard that they see it around every corner is a racist. They simply cannot accept that society has moved on and left them behind. They are easy to spot.
If they are black, they are the ones who say that white people who use the words reserved for black peoples’ use are racist. Those words include: nigga, brother, whoop, word, shizzle, nizzle, cream, and above all, monkey. If they are white, they are the ones who annoyingly point out every instance of black folks’ using the above words and bemoan the fact that whites can’t use them.

So the Obama campaign asked her to resign as a delegate. What does such a knee-jerk reaction say about Barack Obama’ potential as a future leader of our country? Will he ask me to surrender my position with the police department if I call a black 17 year old a “boy”? Yes, I checked, and many blacks do consider this to be racist behavior. Did you get the memo?

The real racist was the ass who called the police and complained that their neighbor called their kids monkeys. In fact she only compared the kids to monkeys “…climbing in there like monkeys”. Then the cop who was retarded (political incorrectness and cultural insensitivity on the use of the word retarded duly noted and discarded by blogger) enough to include the fact that she called the kids monkeys in the citation, as if he/she had never had a class on constitutional law in the police academy.

In closing: Parents, control your brats and the neighbors won’t have to compare them to monkeys, no matter what race they, you, or the neighbor happens to be.

Or they would have if there any such thing existed! Johnny on the spot Traffic Security Administration agents at Lubbock Airport were quick to discard the personal civil liberties of an individual for the sake of your security in the skies. Lord knows, If Mandi Hamlin would have been allowed to board her plane with her nipple rings still in her nipples, there could have been hell to pay.

As reported by Yahoo News, TSA agents stopped Mandi Hamlin when her nipple rings set off a metal detector wand passed over her breast by one of the agents. She was ordered to remove the nipple rings. She explained that they were difficult to remove and offered to show them to the agents to verify that they were, as she claimed, merely jewelry, but the agent claimed that he “wasn’t allowed to look”.

Agents waited on one side of a ’screen’ behind which Hamlin was ordered to remove her jewelry, which meant of course, disrobing above the waist. She had difficulty removing one of the rings, to the point of needing to borrow pliers no less, and was humiliated as more and more agents gathered and snickered on the other side of the screen. With her high profile attorney Gloria Allred, Hamlin has demanded an apology from the TSA.

When humans follow regulations as if they were computers acting on program inputs, without discretion, they become monsters. When did we turn our public servants turn into these scary, unthinking, automatons? Why could they not have had a female TSA agent look to verify that the jewelry wasn’t dangerous? If it was so damn important that she remove all metal from her body, why not allow her some real privacy such as a closed dressing room?

Does the TSA have a policy against nipple rings? Nope! I checked the entire list of prohibited items on the TSA’a official website [ TSA.GOV ] so why was Hamlin ordered to remove hers?

What’s the big deal you ask? I’ll explain:

Piercings are painful to get and can take a year or more to fully heal. When you remove a piercing that is not yet healed, you may need a professional to re-insert the jewelry safely. The jewelry itself is unconventional as well. Most nipple rings are closed using a ball called a captive bead, which is held in place by pressure from the ring. Depending on the size of the jewelry, pliers may be needed to relieve the pressure and release the bead. Even then, it is painful to pull the ring from a site that is not fully healed.

Is this what we have come to? What POWER Osama Bin Laden has in our daily lives! I’m getting on a plane tomorrow. I have piercings in my tongue, nipples, navel and yes, even down there (called a Prince Albert or PA for short)! I am a frequent flier and I’ve not been stopped yet but then Mandi said that she never had either. What if they do stop me? Because of the double standard for men and women in our society, I can simply lift my shirt for my nipple rings but what about the Prince Albert?

Which do I surrender – my plane ticket or my dignity? If I get a reasonable agent, maybe I get on my plane, if not, I go to jail. Stay tuned folks…

Hello World! Welcome to my newest blog, Bible Sexy. Why Bible Sexy? Because it’s just wrong on so many levels to so many people! I want to slap those people in the face and say “Hey! I didn’t just slap you, I slapped you back!” That’s for the forty years of you telling me that I was a worthless, sinning, pile of doo-doo, and not worthy of the glory of your invisible friend!

There, I’m over it, at least until I see another billboard that asks me if I’m saved.

Know your blogger!

Here’s about me:

I’m a forty-one year old father of a twelve year old son. My name is Mike. I’m Gay, and active in the GLBT community. My partner’s name is Jim. Jim works for Emerson in St. Louis. We’ve been together for about a year and a half as I write this. I am a Lieutenant for the Cleveland Division of Police in Cleveland, OH. This month I had 6 years as a lieutenant and this coming June, I will celebrate 18 years with the Division.

I served for five years on the Cleveland Pride Festival and Parade Committee and Three Years on the Board of Directors, Two of which were served on the Executive board as Treasurer and Secretary respectively. I left the Pride board to found the Ohio Lesbian Gay Police Association, which I still lead fearlessly (tongue in cheek).

When I was young I paid attention to my dad when he moaned about all the things he regretted not having done in his life. his life had been utterly without excitement and I determined that mine would be packed with it. The the extent that such is possible, I live an exciting life on purpose!

Here are some of my life’s exciting highlights:

• Got my motorcycle endorsement at 16 learned to do wheelies
• Joined the Army Reserve at 17 - Honorable discharge after six and a half years of “not telling” before ‘Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell’ (did we really need it?)
• Woke up under 6 inches of snow in Germany - got arrested by the politzi (released without charges)
• Had coffee in the Azores
• Rode across the Atlantic ocean in a non-pressurized C-130 - sitting in a canvas net swing seat!
• Used and abuse recreational drugs and alcohol as a teen - was arrested and determined to be a juvenile delinquent - quit all substances at 19 years old - sober since
• Piloted a hanglider for 5 years - stopped when my close friend and mentor was killed in hanglider accident (Mikey was one year old at the time and not ready to be without a father)
• Parachuted - jumped twice, found it anticlimactic after hangliding for so long
• Learned to windsurf on Lake Erie - lessons stopped prematurely with death of instructor, friend and mentor in hanglider crash.
• Learned to ski - cross country and down hill - was a ski father for Mikey’s school for 4 years
• Drove cars very very fast - exceeded 140 mph on some occasions. Drove in wild police chases and emergency response on city streets - several frightening crashes!
• Involved in police shooting incidents - details excluded for the sake of taste and tact
• Involved in intense street level inner-city police work - and NEARLY ALL that that implies
• Walked a mile of rail road tracks, marking body part locations for Forensics to photograph
• Seen life go out of this world more much more often than I’ve seen it come in
• Had a fairy tale wedding, complete with Hawaiian honeymoon, and the Ozzy and Harriet family life as a ’straight’ man for nearly 11 years
• Snorkeled in Hawaii
• Rode in small helicopter over active volcanic vents
• Helped birth our son - held him as he spent his first night in this world sleeping on my chest
• Photographed large alligators from spitting distance in Florida
• Ran from black bear in Canada
• Travelled 49 of 50 United States - Alaska’s really cold and really far!
• Partied like a rock star on Santa Monica Boulevard.
• Dove into Lake Erie from the top of a 40 foot, three story luxury motor yacht
• Hobnobbed at black tie affairs with senators, judges and the social elites
• Crashed at flop houses with perfect strangers in strangers with no money and no plan - that was the plan
• Drove Joshua and Jacob Miller of “Nemesis” in the Pride parade
• Did live stand-up comedy (paid thank you very much) for nearly five years - including a show in Ontario, California with Jay Leno

So, there’s a lot more but this should be enough for you to get the point. In the end, I can say that living such a selfishly exciting life has caused me some regrets. It has cost me my health. In 2006 I underwent major, life-saving neck surgery to relieve pressure on my spinal cord caused by a 2003 duty-related car crash. Unfortunately, while still recovering from the surgery, I was in another very minor car accident in which my spinal cord suffered permanent injury. This will likely end my career with the Division of Police as they have a strict policy regarding street readiness of all officers, including supervisors.

So in preparing for what comes next, I blog. My hope is that from the exciting life I have lived, I have gained some perspective which is unique enough to make my writing stand out so that you the reader will be entertained and enlightened. Whether I am sharing about my past or ranting about the present, my hope is that I don’t sound like every other blogger. That I stand out in some small way so that people will find me interesting enough to read again and again. Maybe, you’ll even subscribe to my feed.

It could be dangerous though; Jesus may not like you reading what I write. So I say, be brave dear reader, be brave.